WHEN YOUR BEST FRIEND IS POPULAR AND YOU'RE JUST.... NOT

Have you ever been in a situation where you're chatting with your best friend and someone else just comes and snatches her away from you and starts talking to her? Well, that's one of the things that happen when your best friend is popular, and you’re just… not.

It’s kind of awkward, you know? On the one hand, I’m quite happy for my best friend. She’s nice, and it’s no surprise that everyone likes her. She’s really funny and smart and she has this motherly nature that always seems to tell people off whenever they do something wrong. She’s just got that effortlessly cool factor. 

Then there’s me. I’m always the one awkwardly standing next to her, trying to figure out what to do with my hands while she’s busy chatting away with everyone. It’s like I’m the backup singer at a concert —there, but not really the main attraction.

When we’re together, people often stop by her in the hallways to ask her for advice or just to chat. And of course, she always drags me along with her because she doesn't want me to feel left out. But even when I’m there, I still feel left out of everything because everyone focuses their attention on her, like I’m just blending into the background. It’s not that people are mean to me or anything—they’re nice enough. It’s just… I don’t stand out. Sometimes I get jealous of all the attention she gets and I wish I were her. It’s like I’m constantly in her shadow; no matter what I do, I can’t find my own spotlight.

And sometimes it hurts. Like when people only really talk to me because I'm her best friend or when it was her birthday and a ton of people posted about her, wishing her a "happy birthday" but when it came to my birthday just like three people posted about me. It makes me wonder if anyone would even notice if I wasn’t there. I know it sounds dramatic, but it’s hard not to feel a little invisible sometimes.

And the truth is: she's not helping. She never seems to understand how I feel and sometimes I feel like she's not even listening to me either she's too busy talking to one of her many friends or she has to help the teacher out with something (she just happens to be the teacher's pet too). But right now she's not even the problem. I think the issue is more about how I see myself, and how I keep comparing myself to her. It’s like I’ve convinced myself that because she’s so cool and popular, I have to be too, or else I’m not good enough.

But maybe that’s not true. Maybe I don’t need to be the most liked person at school. Maybe it’s okay to just be me. I guess it’s time to stop comparing myself to her and start appreciating what makes me unique. Besides, if being cool and popular means losing myself or pretending to be someone I’m not, then it’s just not worth it. And if my friends were true friends they'd understand that I'm just not cut out to be the school's queen bee.

So, how about you? have you ever felt like you're living in someone else's shadow? How do you handle with those feelings? I'd love to hear your thoughts!